OMFG!!!!!111!! Team Edward, lyke, fo real.

Um, seriously. How can someone not feel like they're 13 years old when getting into the "Twilight saga" shit?

I'll admit it though, I read every book. I liked them too. Maybe a little too much. Meyer's good, what of it!? I read her "adult" novel too if that counts for anything! It was good too! So don't judge me for liking vampire love stories like 89% of the rest of the female population!!!!

Maybe I'm defending myself too harshly. I feel no shame for loving the unholy-fuck out of the Harry Potter shit and all that is related to the Harry Potter shit. You know why I feel ashamed about Twilight? I watched the movies. Yes, plural, movieS. Even though the first movie is like, old, I feel I must "review" it in order to "review" the second one.

Ahem.

TWILIGHT SAGA MOVIE REVIEW EXTRAVAGANZA PRE-TEEN STYLEEEEZZZZEEZ!!



Twilight:
Can someone say HOLY AWKWARD! I loved the books, I like Kristen Stewart, but this movie was physically painful to watch due to the intense awkward moments! The special effects were also pretty abysmal. I tried hard to like this movie. Very hard. I even lied and said I loved it. I bought it. I lied to myself. It sucked. I think the characters were cast quite well, with the mighty huge exception of Edward. I mean, you are tasked with the job of finding a crazy hot guy to play the hottest vampire love story character of the half decade, and you choose the guy who played Cedric Diggory on Harry Potter? Really? Robert Pattinson is "hawt" but in no way hot enough to be Edward Cullen. Major fail. The only enjoyment I got out of this movie was reliving the enjoyment I got out of the book.

I give it two out of five.



New Moon:
This movie was a whole different story. New director, more money to work with, more to the story, and the most important factor of all: Werewolves. Let me repeat that. WEREWOLVES. I don't know if I've made this clear yet or not, BUT I FUCKING LOVE THE GOD DAMN SHIT OUT OF SOME WEREWOLVES. I'm in no way kidding when I say they are in my top five of my most favorite things ever. It just so happens that I prefer giant wolves on four feet to man-like hairy upright-standing creatures. So I loved this movie. There were also less of the awkward moments. I love the character of Alice and the rest of the Cullen family, and there was more of that action. There was less of Edward. Good for me, not so good for the mass amount of crying pre-teens who didn't get their fill of the British 23 year old. There was also the Volturi. Wiki it bitch. Also, no, Jacob wasn't hot enough either, and wow New Moon movie, way to be obvious about showing off the guys shirtless.

I give it four out of five. That's definitely the werewolves speaking.

Regardless, I am and will always be, Team Edward (in case you were wondering).

You know what I honestly think was the hottest part of both movies? Justin Chon:



Sexay..

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