I has an apartment in DC. FINALLY!!!!!!11!!

After years (literally, YEARS) of planning on moving back up here to my hometown and escaping the hellhole that is (and will always be) Alabama, I am here, and I have an apartment. Finding one didn't take as long as I imagined. Not only did it not take long, somehow I ended up getting a badass basement apartment. Not a cramped, stuffy studio, which I expected. Somehow I got this:



That's just the living room. There's so much more! Yes, I know you're jealous. It's okay though, you shouldn't be, because while I do have an awesome pad, I'm still funemployed. Although it's more so terrifying than it is "fun". So while I've been running around DC trying to find a job (Read: Getting lost, over heated, and generally feeling worthless), I've been partaking in some other activities I'm going to tell you about now! Activities that all cost money. So I should probably stop. I should probably hole up in my new basement apartment with a shitload of Ramen noodles and never go do anything ever again. Well at least until I find a job. We'll see.

Anyways!!



Predators:
Eh. That's really my entire review of this movie. Just, eh. I was expecting to be pretty scared (watch the trailer) and I wasn't scared AT ALL. Never. It was just like watching a gory, more intelligent, involving version of a deer hunting trip. Nice visual effects, decent acting, Adrien Brody took his shirt off (a certain fellow immature friend of mine will appreciate that), and there is this one scene where one of the monsters rips out a guys spinal cord with the skull attached with his bare hands. That was pretty sweet. All in all though, I was just slightly disappointed.

I give it three out of five.



Sushi-Go-Round and Tapas:
Stopped in here for some food today while waiting for my movie to begin. Good service, good sushi, decently priced. I enjoyed watching the food roll past me on the conveyor belt. It's a neat little place, if you're down to try it, it's inside the Gallery Place building next to the Verizon Center in Chinatown. Take this recommendation with a grain of salt though. Saying I dislike any sushi is like saying I dislike sex. It just doesn't happen that often.



We Are Scientists:
I get to see them this Friday at Black Cat. And I am so fucking excited. WAS have been one of my favorite bands (maybe my favorite band) for a while now. When I arrived in the city last week, seeing them this week was the last thing I expected.

DC, I love you.

Just please give me a job.

<33

PS. I kept saying "my apartment". Just want to backtrack and say, that actually, it's "our apartment", our being me and my wonderfully, perfect boyfriend! He's not here yet, but he will be soon, and when that happens, DC will be even better. I love you Daniel. ;)

PPS. Yes, I'm aware that we're so cute it's gross and you hate me right now. Bye!

Nick @ Nite is the man!

Everyone is always asking me why I listen to 92.9 (93BLX) all the freakin' time. First off, I only listen to it between the hours of 9pm-12am Mon-Thurs, and 7pm-10pm Fri-Sat, and it is because of the man above. I like hip hop, but I like techno more, and Nick @ Nite is the mother fucking boss when it comes to mixing the two. You would never believe me if I told you he played one of the gayest dance songs ever on a major hip hop radio station.

That's why I went to great lengths to prove it:



As if that video displaying the station clearly on my radio screen while that song is playing is not enough proof, they weren't ashamed to admit it!



I feel I've proved my point. Right after playing that song he played Jump Smokers just kidding it was LMFAO (still though!), and this is all in addition to him playing both Madonna and Journey.

Nick @ Nite fully has my back. I will miss you when I move to DC. :(

On another note, if you're a big fan of Akon (I'm like, eh, about him, mainstream rap gets annoying over time) you should probably be jealous of me.



Yeah I touched him (oh em gee!) and he was very sweaty. I also got a mouthful of weave in the process. It was fun but I could have done without the weave tasting. Also the whole holy-shit-we're-so-f'ing-close-lets-touch-him-omfg moment was NOT planned. Somehow the crowd pushed us that close, but hey, not very many people can say they sort of accidentally held a famous African rapper by the back while he was violently writhing on top of a mass amount of people (ahem).

Shitty video quality can be attributed to my cell phone, fyi.

Also, allow me to educate you on something...

T-Pain played before Akon and at some point he announced that he was going to sing a song specifically for white people. Of course the song was "I'm On A Boat".

Again, if you live in a cave (well a cave not visited by immature white people):


Anyways, the white people went absolutely fucking crazy.

The black people? Confused. Very confused.
"Is he saying I'm on a boat, or I'm on a motherfucking boat!?"
"Did he just say he fucked a mermaid!?!?!"

I guess they didn't know T-Pain hung out with immature white guys (on another note, I really enjoy said immature white guys' music!).

After that he played a song specifically for black people.



The black people went crazy.

So did the white people.

White people: Wtf, really? Most of you at that concert were suburban middle class white kids who wear nothing but Abercrombie and American Eagle. When T-Pain says he's going to play something specifically for black people it's time for you to sit the fuck down. You are not "hood" and if you were ever dropped off in the "hood", you would probably shit your pants if you weren't robbed or killed before you got a chance to.

Education point: White suburban kids are for the most part, retarded.

I'm going to go listen to Pendulum now to redeem myself for writing an entire post almost completely referring to hip hop.

(Psst! Instead, I might dig myself into an even deeper hole and go with Jedi Mind Tricks. Fuck it.)

<33

What to say, what to say...

I am excited, not really because of T-Pain, Akon, or Ludacris (though I was excited about Stone Temple Pilots, but missed them thanks to having to work today), but because it's a large gathering of people partying and having a good time, and I'm off for two days in a row to enjoy it.

Bayfest '09, do not fail me.

What else to talk about, oh my baby story! Yeah, no, maybe next week. I do have some good ole' random shit for you though.

- Throughout the day on my deliveries, I often encounter things that make life worth living. Today I noticed the truck next to me had a passenger seat occupied by a giant lifesized teddy bear. This made me almost as happy as seeing that window a while back that had "DONUTS! Oh nom nom nom nom nom!" written on it.

- I also saw a fat kid riding a bike and of course upon seeing me he screamed "DOMINO'S!!!!!!!!!" This caused a chuckle.

- I've come to the conclusion that sand dunes are pretty amazing. My friends and I explore such natural areas in the middle of the night on the beach, cause I mean, what else is there to do in Gulf Shores, AL? Anyways, last night under a bright moon, I really came to appreciate them. They're like a mix between a desert and swamp-like plants. We found caves that are literally formed by low trees and shrubs, and even were lucky enough to enjoy a coyote howling extravaganza very close to us. Which by the way, was not scary in the least, coyotes tend to be pussies.

- How blunt must one be with a stupid person? Some crabby lady walked into Domino's yesterday and asked me what the deal was with the $6.00 large pizzas (there is a huge sign out front advertising said deal). I explained to her that they were large one topping pizzas for $6. She responded, "So what does that consist of?" I again repeated, "Um, a large one topping..." She continued asking me the same question. I mean, really? You get a large fucking pizza with fucking sauce and cheese, and whatever god damn ONE topping you want on it, and please stop wasting my time with stupid questions the other 95% of the population can figure out in two seconds! Sorry got carried away.

On that cheerful note, I'll end this. You probably won't hear from me all weekend, I'll be enjoying Bayfest and hanging out with my very best of friends. Also, I switched my domain over to something more custom and fabulous, take notice. Have a fun, safe weekend!

<33

Reasons to hate the human race.

Sorry I haven't been writing as much. It's been semi-busy here in shitty Alabama. The same will probably be true of next week, what with Bayfest and college friends coming down to visit.

Anyways, on to various reasons to hate people.

1. People who don't know proper restaurant manners.
So I'm at work right, and we have ten minutes to go before closing (Domino's, FYI). We haven't had an order in an hour so half the shit we have to clean is already cleaned, and we're ready to go. Then a phone call comes in.



So I answer it (I mean, I freaking have to!). This lady then spends five minutes ordering two things, all the time screaming into my ear not only at me, but at loud children, and at other people asking them if they want drinks for the road (WTF?). Finally she finishes fucking ordering. I leave the store with her food five minutes after we're closed (it had to cook first, duh) and head to the outskirts of town (yeah, she lived in BFE too!). I get there and do the whole money-pizza transaction thing.

Now let me explain something. If you keep servers of any kind working late, you better tip more than usual for inconveniencing them. This is common sense, and if you don't do this, you are a douchebag!

This lady gives me a $2.03 tip. I just silently turned around and got back into my car, trying not to scream or slam my door in their yard. I don't have anything else to say on this subject, you all should be able to feel my anger through this post already.

2. People who can't comprehend simple things.
Our work parking lot/driveway is one way. There's huge white arrows painted all over the parking lot making this blatantly obvious. Yet, every single day, multiple people go the wrong way and then make it a pain in the ass for everyone else to back out or pull in. See our parking spaces are slanted in one direction (since it's one way, ya know) and there are three parallel parking spaces in addition to the slanted ones. The parallel spaces can block the driveway if large vehicles park in them without getting close to the curb, so they are there only as a last option when there are no more slanted spaces left. Anyone with one iota of intelligence can grasp this concept. I wish I had a fucking dime for how many times a gigantic SUV has a) pulled in going the opposite direction despite the clearly marked arrows b) parked in a parallel space instead of a slanted one even though there are more than four slanted spaces open c) parked in the parallel space on the end, away from the curb, crooked, therefore blocking the driveway to other customers and delivery drivers entering from the right direction. Everyday I watch the madness unfold from inside and shake my head in sadness.

3. People who interrupt you when you're clearly busy.
There is one thing I really can't stand, and that is when people talk to me while I'm reading or writing. I can understand a short, "Hey when you're done let me know, I have something to talk to you about", but so many people just start the conversation and act oblivious to the fact that I'm actually trying to concentrate on something! I even try to ignore them by not looking up from what I'm doing and they just keep trucking on! One day I'm going to snap. I just don't know how much more I can take.

- On a completely unrelated note, Regions Bank, you need to STFU already. Everyday I hear your commercial on the radio talking about your LifeGreen Free Checking accounts, where people can do their banking online or over the phone for free and never have to deal with paper mail, and oh em gee it's like totally a reason to switch banks! Uh, Wachovia has had the same shit for at least three years that I know of and it's not even special to them, it's just standard. Regions, you fail.

- If you ever want to listen to a song that will either make you want to dance your hot ass off in a club, or have crazy good sex, I suggest downloading the "Zion" song off the Matrix Reloaded soundtrack. It works. Also, do not ever listen to the song "Dunkie Butt" by 12 Gauge, unless you want it stuck in your head for over 24 hours, like I did.

Because I like to ruin people's lives, I'm going to of course tempt you with this:


Peace out, story from my baby years tomorrow, look forward to it!

<33

Snakes, pepper-jack cheese, and Madonna.

Yes you guessed it! This post has no form whatsoever, like so many others, it's just completely random because that's how the last couple of days have been for me.

- First off, I consider myself an excellent snake catcher! Seriously though, I delivered pizza to a lady two days ago and while handing her the food at her door, I caught movement to my right side and low and behold a snake! I nonchalantly informed her of this and she sorta freaked out. So I picked up a stick, told her I would handle it, and walked over and caught the damn thing like a professional. Was it poisonous? I don't know. Do I care? No! I'm a freaking snake handler!

(Seriously though, don't pick up random snakes, it is dangerous, and I really do know how to do it properly, there is a technique to pinning the head down and pinching behind it's jaws, blah blah blah, you still run the risk of getting bitten.)

It wasn't big or anything though, just a baby. The lady was in shock and when she finally paid me (yes, while I was holding the damn thing), I drove down the road (hard with a snake in your hand) and released him (or her) into the wild forest. He was pissed. If only he knew.




Yes, I know. Pikachu hangs out with me while I drive; Be jealous! Anyways, this is the second time I've caught a snake in the last month, maybe I should start charging?

- You know, throughout my day I think of things I want to write about and sometimes jot them down in my phone so I don't forget. Just now I'm reading those notes and one of them is "waking up screaming". I have no idea what myself is talking about, and that is creepy.

- There was a guy in the store the other day. He was staring at me with an awful expression. I walked outside and after seeing his van realized why:



People who are that into god, just don't like me. "She's got too many gosh darned tattoos, she must be one of them der devil worshippers!" I know I'm being unfairly judgmental, but just let it go, okay?

- Two things I like very much include pepper-jack cheese and gallon jugs of Sunny D. I would be happy if pepper-jack cheese replaced all cheese, and I made a pizza the other day by doing just that, and it was beautiful. As far as the gallon jugs of Sunny D, well they are just so big and bright and one can't help but feel pretty damn triumphant when drinking from one.

- Speaking of orange juice, the other day I was drinking a glass of it, and set my laptop on the floor beneath the dresser said glass was resting on. I quickly thought it wasn't a good idea in case the glass spilled so I moved my laptop much farther away. Two minutes later when reaching for the glass I knocked it over. I'm glad to know I can subconsciously read the future.

- I really never talk to girls. The eight last people I received text messages from are guys, and the ninth is a girl, but she's gay. See my point? There's also Jessica, but she's my childhood best friend turned pretty much sister, and that doesn't count.

- When people order food at my place of employment, and I explain to them that if they get the larger pizza (with the same shit on it) it costs less, and they say no... It makes me want to take a fucking samurai sword and slice my own arm off.

- Speaking of samurai swords, maybe it's not such a good idea to break into houses because look at what happened to this guy: JHU student kills burglar with samurai sword! Don't fuck with college students, they're already stressed out enough to kill from shit like essays and speeches.

- I'm outside and a gigantic beetle just flew into my lap and now that I have removed it whilst screaming, I am just fully creeped out.

- I ordered Pizza Hut. I work for Domino's. I feel like a traitor. (It was good.)

- Someone I know recently said something along the lines of "Lady Gaga is the queen of pop, fuck Madonna".

OH NO YOU DIDN'T!?

Please take back that statement, forget about Lady Gaga's sex crazed music videos, and take a second to remember who Madonna is:




Lady Gaga queen of pop my ass, Madonna may be older and refined now, but that doesn't change a damn thing!

- On my last note, I notice that lots of movie scenes feature people waving to other people who are leaving in cars. Thing is, the people waving goodbye are often standing in the middle of the road. Who does that!? Especially in say, NYC!? I would be happy if they got hit by a bus or a bike messenger or something after standing in the road for fucking ever, now that would be a movie.

I'm gonna go now, I have photography (shitty art attempt) to attend to!

<33