Yes you guessed it! This post has no form whatsoever, like so many others, it's just completely random because that's how the last couple of days have been for me.
- First off, I consider myself an excellent snake catcher! Seriously though, I delivered pizza to a lady two days ago and while handing her the food at her door, I caught movement to my right side and low and behold a snake! I nonchalantly informed her of this and she sorta freaked out. So I picked up a stick, told her I would handle it, and walked over and caught the damn thing like a professional. Was it poisonous? I don't know. Do I care? No! I'm a freaking snake handler!
(Seriously though, don't pick up random snakes, it is dangerous, and I really do know how to do it properly, there is a technique to pinning the head down and pinching behind it's jaws, blah blah blah, you still run the risk of getting bitten.)
It wasn't big or anything though, just a baby. The lady was in shock and when she finally paid me (yes, while I was holding the damn thing), I drove down the road (hard with a snake in your hand) and released him (or her) into the wild forest. He was pissed. If only he knew.
Yes, I know. Pikachu hangs out with me while I drive;
Be jealous! Anyways, this is the second time I've caught a snake in the last month, maybe I should start charging?
- You know, throughout my day I think of things I want to write about and sometimes jot them down in my phone so I don't forget. Just now I'm reading those notes and one of them is "waking up screaming". I have no idea what myself is talking about, and that is creepy.
- There was a guy in the store the other day. He was staring at me with an awful expression. I walked outside and after seeing his van realized why:
People who are
that into god, just don't like me. "She's got too many gosh darned tattoos, she must be one of them der devil worshippers!" I know I'm being unfairly judgmental, but just let it go, okay?
- Two things I like very much include pepper-jack cheese and gallon jugs of Sunny D. I would be happy if pepper-jack cheese replaced all cheese, and I made a pizza the other day by doing just that, and it was
beautiful. As far as the gallon jugs of Sunny D, well they are just so big and bright and one can't help but feel pretty damn triumphant when drinking from one.
- Speaking of orange juice, the other day I was drinking a glass of it, and set my laptop on the floor beneath the dresser said glass was resting on. I quickly thought it wasn't a good idea in case the glass spilled so I moved my laptop much farther away. Two minutes later when reaching for the glass I knocked it over. I'm glad to know I can subconsciously read the future.
- I really never talk to girls. The eight last people I received text messages from are guys, and the ninth is a girl, but she's gay. See my point? There's also Jessica, but she's my childhood best friend turned pretty much sister, and that doesn't count.
- When people order food at my place of employment, and I explain to them that if they get the larger pizza (
with the same shit on it) it costs less, and they say no... It makes me want to take a fucking samurai sword and slice my own arm off.
- Speaking of samurai swords, maybe it's not such a good idea to break into houses because look at what happened to this guy:
JHU student kills burglar with samurai sword! Don't fuck with college students, they're already stressed out enough to kill from shit like essays and speeches.
- I'm outside and a gigantic beetle just flew into my lap and now that I have removed it whilst screaming, I am just fully creeped out.
- I ordered Pizza Hut. I work for Domino's. I feel like a traitor. (It was
good.)
- Someone I know recently said something along the lines of "Lady Gaga is the queen of pop, fuck Madonna".
OH NO YOU DIDN'T!?Please take back that statement, forget about Lady Gaga's sex crazed music videos, and take a second to remember who Madonna is:
Lady Gaga queen of pop my ass, Madonna may be older and refined now, but that doesn't change a damn thing!
- On my last note, I notice that lots of movie scenes feature people waving to other people who are leaving in cars. Thing is, the people waving goodbye are often standing in the middle of the road. Who does that!? Especially in say, NYC!? I would be happy if they got hit by a bus or a bike messenger or something after standing in the road for fucking ever, now that would be a movie.
I'm gonna go now, I have photography (shitty art attempt) to attend to!
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