The Pros & Cons of Washington, DC

Ever since I moved my friends have been constantly asking me how things are going, what I've been up to, how is the city, blah blah blah.

Since nothing else really interesting has happened to me lately (other than working two weeks in a row without an off-day and falling in love with raspberry beer) I've decided to answer everyone in-masse. Who knows, maybe new DC residents will find this list helpful? Probably not.

We'll start with the good and move onto the bad.

DC's Pros:
- MUSIC SCENE. Since living here I've seen We Are Scientists, and on Tuesday I'll be seeing Of Montreal. Last month I missed the Crystal Method, and this weekend I will be missing Vampire Weekend and Beach House, but down the line I can look forward to the Foals, Benny Benassi, Sara Bareilles, Klaxons, Stars, Rogue Wave, The xx, Rob Zombie, and Interpol, just to name a few. Will I actually make it to all of those events? No, I'm too poor, but I'll certainly be at some of them. Having so many different wonderful shows come through the area not only has me thrilled but overloaded. In addition I just so happen to live within two miles of the Black Cat and the 9:30 Club, which makes life even sweeter.
- FOOD. Gone are the days of McDonalds, Waffle House, shitty produce from Wal-Mart, and redundant chain restaurants. If I want to eat cheap I can pick up wallet-friendly yet delicious ethnic food from one of the many restaurants near my apartment, or from one of the food trucks, if I want to spend some cash I have so many ridiculously good places to choose from I have no choice but to use Urbanspoon as a decision maker. Grocery shopping is fun, you have your staples like Whole Foods, Safeway, Giant, and Harris Teeter, but you also have your farmer's markets, bodegas, and other small local markets that carry a delicious inventory.
- WEATHER. Sure, it's been pretty hot lately, but compared to the beaches of Alabama, it's nothing. The cooler days have been fantastic and I'm thrilled for fall and winter to arrive. Seasons are nice to have after living somewhere that has a persistent summer and a few chilly days.
- PEOPLE. I've met so many awesome people in DC, heard so many different opinions, and learned so many new things, it's awesome. Who knows how many people I could meet in a years time, let alone five years time.
- ART. Whether it be films, photography, paintings, graffiti, it's everywhere, the new, the old, the classy and respected, and the gritty and offensive, and I love it.
- IKEA. Okay well technically it's in Maryland and not really a big deal, but I love IKEA so it's going on the list.
- IT'S THE CAPITOL. I don't care much about the monuments, and the National this and the National that, but I think everyone who lives here has to admit, it does feel nice to live in the most politically powerful city in the world.
- GAY PEOPLE. They're everywhere, and every time I run into a fabulous gay man I want to grab him by the hand and run off to Georgetown and buy chocolates at Dean & Deluca and just have a jolly good time. (Disclaimer: I was raised by lesbians, and various gay men are as close as I got to having any father figures, so I'm just destined to want to bond with them all.)
- ROCK CREEK PARK. If you come to DC, go there, if you live here and don't like it, fuck you. RCP is sooooooooo awesome, I feel like I'm nowhere near DC when I'm there and that is a feat my friend.

DC's Cons:
- PARKING TICKETS. I'm very nearly convinced the parking enforcement people that work in DC are Nazi's. Where to park, when to park, and how long to stayed parked, has been on the forefront of my mind ever since I got here. I've spent so much money on tickets, it's not even remotely something I want to joke about.
- TRAFFIC. It's gotten to the point where if my destination is over 3 miles away, I usually don't go. If you call me while I'm driving in DC, pretty much the entire time I'm just going to be yelling at people that can't even hear me and flipping off cab drivers. There's also this stoplight on New Jersey Ave, right before the M St intersection before you turn onto New York Ave by 395, that I have to go through everyday to get to work, and I swear to you, the light only stays green for FIVE FUCKING SECONDS. I want to take that stoplight, tie it to a large heavy object, and sink it into the middle of the Pacific ocean so I never have to look at it again.
- PEOPLE. I know I listed people as a pro, but it's also a con. Homeless people begging you for money all the time and then giving you dirty looks when you don't give in. Assholes on the Metro who stand on the left side of the escalator and don't board the trains correctly. Any and all tourists. Snooty pretentious bitches. Creepy guys. There's a great deal of annoying people here, but really that goes for any large city.
- METRO. I used to really love the Metro, enjoy riding it, and thought it was the bee's knees. Then I had to use it to get me to work, and all those happy feelings went flying through the window. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate Metro, I do still enjoy it when I'm not in a hurry and I do feel it's superior to many other cities public transportation, but you can only deal with so many delays and fuck-ups before you just give up.
- PUBLIC SERVICES. Need a trash-can? Well it's not easy to get one. Need a driver's license? It's not easy to get one. Need a parking pass? It's not easy to get one. What happens if you don't get these things? Fines. 'Nuff said.
- H ST CONSTRUCTION. If you don't have to deal with it you're lucky, I feel like I'm killing my car every time I drive down H St.

Obviously, the pros far outweigh the cons for me and I love this city. You can greatly reduce your daily stress by not owning a car and just riding a bike everywhere. I'm glad I'm finally back in my hometown, and I don't know if I'll ever leave again.

By the way, if you're up for arguably the best sandwiches in DC, come see me at work at Taylor Gourmet, the K St location at the corner of 5th. I promise we'll cure your munchies.





PS. The awesome photos in this post are taken by Danilo Lewis, and appear here.

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A smorgasbord of stuff for everyone!

Before I start, I'd like you to know that I did not know how to spell "smorgasbord" and when I Googled it, I found out that "smorgasbord" serves many different purposes:

- A collection containing a variety of sorts of things.
- A type of Scandinavian meal served buffet-style with multiple dishes of various foods on a table, originating in Sweden. In Norway it is called koldtbord and in Denmark it is called kolde bord.
- The second album by popular children's entertainers Sharon, Lois & Bram, originally released in 1979.

Moving on, it's been a while since I've reviewed any movies, so we'll have some of that. I'll also be updating you on what's going on in my life, which is more or less just going to be me complaining. You're welcome.

Onto the films, shall we?



Eclipse:
C'mon! You knew it was coming! It's almost like I have to considering I reviewed the other two pre-teen jerk off films. Maybe that was a little harsh, but I don't care. The reason New Moon was so much more bearable was because, for the most part, Edward wasn't in it. Jacob's acting isn't much better, but I'll take his macho werewolf crap over mister "I'm consistently in deep emotional pain and it shooooows" vampire. Eclipse brought me back to the days of the first movie, when I was writhing in my seat trying to calm myself down from the intensely uncomfortable awkward romantic scenes. Except this time I was accompanied my two of my good friends, who such as myself, have the maturity level of five year olds. Instead of being uncomfortable we were simply laughing our asses off (read: trying to be quiet but unable to control the laughter, causing crying, causing more laughter, causing us to spill our food everywhere [what a damn waste of Rasinets] causing more laughter, causing the fact that the entire theater probably hated us). I don't feel as bad as I should, I know due to the fact they they get married and go on a honeymoon and (SPOILER ALERT!!!!!) have sex, laughter is how I'm going to get through the fourth movie, Breaking Dawn. As with New Moon, the ONLY thing keeping this movie from going straight to the bottom of my list is the werewolves, and in particular, the intense werewolf/ Cullen tribe vs. newborn vampires battle scene. I may have involuntarily clapped when the werewolves jumped out of the forest. I may have involuntarily clapped twice. I tried to find a picture of that scene, but Google must be a twelve year old girl, since the only thing I could find is the above. I'm sorry.

While Twilight got two, and New Moon four (due to less Edward and more werewolves), this one will have to settle with three out of five (Edward came back, but still lots of werewolves). Also, if you can just make it funny, it's worth seeing.



Get Him To The Greek:
Totally different story! Any movie that can make me laugh my ass off hysterically simply because the main characters are so fucked up on drugs they stroke a furry wall for comfort, is more than enough to make it one of the best movies ever in my opinion. After seeing it I thought maybe I just enjoyed it because of my rampant immaturity, but I have yet to talk to anyone who doesn't completely agree with me. I don't know what else to tell you, other than: LOLOLOLOLOLOLLOLOLOLOLOLZOZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!

I give it five out of five.

Gaynelle and I also came to the conclusion by the end of the movie that Russell Brand is a sexy man (albeit a little gay), which is another supporting reason to go see it.



Now onto my complaints.

I'm going to DC on Wednesday to stay in a weekly rental, and hopefully find a permanent rental. I've been starving myself and hooking on the side all summer to be able to afford to move finally. Alright, that's not true at all, but it's makes my plight so much more desperate if you just go with it. Anywhoo, this week I plan on riding my bike all over DC begging landlords to give me an apartment, and I'm hoping the weather will be kind and not ridiculously hot, because I'm preparing for this to take for-fucking-ever, considering I'm trying to find something affordable but big enough for a couple (yes, boyfriend is moving in with me, I know, wheeeee!), but also something that accepts my cat and large moderately sized dog. You know all those movies where kids move to big cities to make it on their own and they have to stay in a really tiny studio and eat Ramen noodles all year, but it still works out and they're super duper happy? Well, finding a really tiny studio to accept you isn't easy and noodles get expensive, and even when you know the city like I do, it's STILL hard. Breathing feels expensive right now. I've got a good bit of money saved up, but I'm afraid to buy a .50 cent soda because I know enough of those will eventually lead to the disappearance of all my money and gahhhhh, it's so stressful.

Anyways, as much as I'd like to stay in Gulf Shores, AL and collect dirty oil money from BP (hah, NOT), my first steps to finally leaving start this week. Hopefully by mid August I'll be living in a studio in Northwest, serving tables at some fancy place in DuPont, and living a jolly little life.

So, adieu for now, I will be checking in sometime next week to update everyone on how my apartment search is going (yes the blog is coming back, as I told you it would when I moved). Wish me luck!

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PS. I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT THIS, I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST FORGOT TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT, OMG, DON'T JUDGE ME, BUT YEAH HERE YOU GO. Sorry for the all caps there for a second. Got carried away...

Haven't posted in forever, why not do it intoxicated!?!?

Soooooooooo......

I'm drunk (SHHHHHH), and hanging out with three of my best friends, Jessica, Robby, & Shawn. A random thought came to me just now and I decided, why not blog about it?

WHY THE FUCK DO PEOPLE POST PICTURES OF THEMSELVES ON FACEBOOK AND MYSPACE SITTING ON THE GOD DAMN TOILET!?!?!

I mean, why? Just... Why? Yes, we know you piss and shit just like everyone else in the world, but why in the fuck would you want to show everyone that? It just makes no sense to me, along the lines of God making no sense to me. I know this is completely fucking random, but these are the things I think about. Sooo there's that.

What's been going on in the blogosphere? I'm incredibly behind on everything, ever. I myself am STILL stuck in the hellhole I call Alabama, much to my dismay. If I don't make it up to DC soon suicide may be an option. It's hot here, there's oil everywhere, Christians keep yelling at me for liking Obama. I need to get the fuck out of here.

As for what's going on in my life, um, here's the breakdown:

GOOD:
I was lucky enough to find the best guy in the world and he's now my perfect boyfriend! Inorite!? Who would've guessed right?

BAD:
Everything else.

Happy reading.

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Bad mood guys, bad mood.

Seriously.

This is the only productive thing to come out of the last couple of days (well and the fourth sit of my sleeve, which I'll talk about later).



That and my other new photography can be found (and appreciated maybe?) on my Deviantart.

Everything else that has happened over the last couple of days has only solidified my opinion that I really do not enjoy living here. I need the city like I need oxygen.

I really don't have anything else to say right now. Sorry guys. Maybe I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. Everyone has their shitty moods.

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Tourists. I mean seriously?

This post at 2birds1blog made me decide to finally write that post about tourism I've been wanting to write all summer. WARNING: This post contains some heavy language as I tend to get pretty riled up about tourism.

Tourists can be good. They bring money to an area (especially mine, Gulf Shores, AL), they are interesting to watch sometimes, etc. Usually though, I just want to grab them and shake them uncontrollably while yelling "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?!".

Let's examine some things shall we?

1) Driving.
They suck at it. I mean they suck fucking donkey balls at it. They drive twenty miles under the speed limit, they never use any signals, they ride your ass, or block you in the left lane. They look at you all horribly offended and what not when you pass them, or have your music turned up even a wee bit, or do anything that doesn't fit their pearly little image of their perfect vacation. Hey, you, with the fanny pack, I'm not on fucking vacation, I'm late for work, where I'll actually end up serving your kind, so can you please just meander over to the right lane (where you can literally go as slow as you want because in the common sense world that is what it's for!) and get the fuck out of my way. Mostly it's just tourists that don't follow the left is for cruising, right is for passing rule but sometimes LOCALS do it too and I hate them even more. When locals drive like jackasses it's just a downright betrayal. Unfortunately I live in Alabama where one is more likely to know how to drive a tractor then a car (JK Alabama, I have to poke fun at you sometimes though), but tourists still always outrank locals when it comes to shitty driving. They are just completely oblivious to the person behind them pumping their fists up and down, screaming, and swerving in anger (psh, yeah that's me!). They are instead moseying along in their minivan, looking at the 1,000th palm tree they've seen, getting excited over fucking sand, while not realizing they're going 20 mph in a 45. On a one lane road. Blocking traffic. Blocking traffic for miles. And miles. Forever. Hey, guess what? You wanna sight see? Fucking walk! Also, our ambulances, firetrucks, and police personnel are not toys. They're real. People have emergencies and die here too (I know, crazy!), so please move the fuck over. It marvels me how many of you just sit there like a retarded duck. One last thing, turning lanes, use them. Those arrows in the middle pointing to either direction, those are instructions. It's not just a big fucking blank spot to look at, it has a purpose. Purpose, people, PURPOSE.

2) Children.
Do you even know what your child is doing right now? Eating dog poop! Yeah, fucking look at them! I don't know why, but it seems that when people are on vacation they forget everything they've ever learned when it comes to social interaction, and this includes their kids. My friend Gaynelle recently told me a story about how this one kid in the restaurant she works at was literally shoving about fifty packets of sugar into his mouth, becoming more hyperactive by the second, and making a holy mess. When the parents were finally politely asked if they were seeing this, their response was, "Oh! Well we're on vacation so you know, yeah, whatever." and *shrug*. Um, what? Just because you're on vacation doesn't mean your kid all of a sudden became immune to sugar, the sugar is magically invisible and doesn't have to be cleaned up, and we're all deaf and can't hear your subsequently balls to the wall hyper spawn screaming at the top of his/her lungs. Some other points, when it's dark outside, and your kids run out into the middle of the road in traffic, and you do nothing to correct this because you're drunk (yeah, very drunk, all the time, because you're on fucking vacation), doesn't mean we're not going to kill your kids accidentally. You know why? Vacation doesn't magically give people crazy tiger night vision and super reflexes. What if we're drunk? Huh? Ever think of that? We freaking live here, on the beach, I mean, we should be drunk 24/7 right (since you certainly are)? Remember this next time.

3) You look and act like an idiot.
Seriously. Do you wear that at home? No? I didn't think so, so why in the hell would you wear it here?! I know a great thing about vacation is the fact that you can do anything stupid and no one knows you, but have some fucking dignity. Also, seriously? Do you act that way at home? You really block the aisle in the grocery store with your five shopping carts arguing with your co-vacationer about what you have and don't have at the condo, eventually just forcing me to be rude and grunt in a mean fashion while pushing your shit out of the way. I mean, seriously. *Sigh*

I can't write anymore because if I do, I'm liable to go buy a gun and blow my head off just thinking about it. If you're a tourist and you don't do any of this, well then kudos to you!

Although, I know you will continue to plague me in DC, where the meaning of "Walk left, stand right", will hold no meaning to you, no matter how many times locals push you out of the way.

God damn you ignorant tourist creature from hell. God damn you.

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Oh, weather please stay this way!

Guess what? I'm still in southern Alabama, on the beach, and it WASN'T 95F-115F today! It was like 83F, and now it's around 70F, and it feels absolutely wonderful. I have been driving with my windows down all day singing my heart out to whatever my Zune has decided to play for me (thanks whoever came up with the shuffle feature), and I've been as happy as a clam. I'm almost scared for tomorrow to come, in fear that the heat will return, like the asshole it is. I love when the cool air returns after the summer when you get that feeling of being able to breathe and smell everything again. The sad thing is that on days like this my memory takes me north, because southern Alabama does not have near enough days like this. All I see in my mind is driving north on the interstate watching the trees get taller. Well a little taller, or maybe my mind is just making them seem taller to fit my more grand image. I don't know, I'm just ready to move.

Something I didn't mention the other day, and I wish I had been able to snap a photo but that's impossible while driving alone on a highway going 65 mph. It was a car with writing on the window, but instead of saying "Beach or BUST!" or "Just Married!", it said, "DONUTS! Oh nom nom nom nom nom!". Seeing that literally made my year.

Another thing that made me laugh recently, was this post at In Town. Just read it.

I don't have much else to say, and I must sleep. It's almost 230a and I have to be up early to get my car to the mechanic (damn computer sensors!).

Albeit, before I go...

.

Make sure you watch through the end. ;]

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Well hello there, hurricane season.

Thought you were giving up on us this year. Hah! How silly of us to even consider that. For those of you who don't know where Gulf Shores, AL is, it's pretty much a barrier island off the coast of Alabama. Still don't understand? No worries, I've got you covered.



The red dot-blob in the middle is my house. Sort of.



Joy.

Seriously though, I do actually like these storms. Don't take it the wrong way, I agree Ivan and Katrina were absolutely horrible, among many others, and I hate seeing people's homes and lives ruined by storms like that, but some of you who live here on the coast have to admit feeling a little sad when the projected path moves away from where you live. For the smaller storms. Maybe it's just me, but I will admit it.

My name is Caitlin, and I'm a hurricane addict.

Like I've said before something about storms amazes me. Chaos in nature is beauty in itself in my eyes. Driving through the subsequently flooded roads in my tiny ass car is not beautiful whatsoever though.

On another note (completely), I saw a car hit someone riding a bike yesterday. The biker was fine, well very fucking mad, but fine. Since no one got hurt I can confess to laughing at the situation. I'm still not sure who was in the wrong though. It's a tough one.

Other then working and sleeping (and consuming a mass amount of sushi and chocolate pudding), I've done nothing with my life over the weekend. Hooray! Off to go do more nothing.

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