Why you should watch "Pom Poko".

Ok, so I'm really hoping this post will make up for my absence (that is sure to continue). What I'm about to tell you about is now one of my top ten reasons to love the existence of the internet.

You know about raccoons (I hope). Well there are animals in Asia known as Japanese Raccoon Dogs. Yes they are adorable and yes I want one.



Anyways, I was reading about these animals (because yes I am a nerd and spend time reading about animals) and happened to, luckily, stumble upon this link:

Raccoon Dogs & Their Magically Expanding Scrotums!

Now I know you're already excited, but it gets so much better. If you go on to read through that post you will learn about how in Japanese folklore apparently the raccoon dogs have magically expanding scrotums. But if you make your way to the comments you will also learn of a Japanese animated film called Pom Poko. In which the raccoon dogs use their magically expanding scrotums as parachutes and weapons.

And now, a new reason to love YouTube:



It gets really good about 1:30 in.

You're welcome. Also, I love you Japan.

<33

FIIIIIIRRRRETRUCKS, Donnie Darko, 80's music, I'm poor.

I have not one thing to write about, but many, and they are all completely un-related. Sooo, there's that.



- Jessica reminded me on my last post that I forgot about the firetruck. To which I say, holy hell, how could I have forgotten about the firetruck!? See, after we watched porn on Shawn's iPhone (it's in my Twitter timeline if you don't believe me) we got some Chinese food and while waiting on said food, we browsed through one of those Penny Saver type booklets full of car ads. Well, there was a firetruck for sale, for, I shit you not, $6,000. That's it, just a measly $6,000. This led to an array of jokes throughout the rest of the evening:

"Gosh, we really shouldn't drive anywhere drunk!"
"It's okay, we have a FIIIIIRRRRRETRUCK!!!!!!!"

"How are we going to fit that many people in the car?"
"It's no problem, we have a FIIIIIIIIRRRRRRETRUCK!!!!!!"

"Man I wish I could take that handicap space."
"Oh we can, because we have a FIIIIIRRRRRETRUCK!!!!!"

"There's a cat stuck in that tree."
"That's fine, we have a ladder, because we have a FIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRETRUCK!!!!!"

And so on about the endless possibilities and solved situations one might find themselves in, if they had a FIIIIIIIIRRRRRRETRUCK. Maybe you had to have been there, but it was hilarious, and we couldn't stop laughing.

- I was having a nice Sunday the other day. I nice Sunday full of sleep. I was abruptly, rudely, horrifyingly, awakened, to what I thought was a jet engine falling through the ceiling of my room (I assume my subconscious pulled this from Donnie Darko). Whatever the jet-engine-propeller-like-noise was, it was loud and I pretty much assumed I was dead. In those split seconds I caught my dog huddled in a corner (instead of protectively positioning herself on top of me, like any good German Shepherd would do), and my cat fly into the water bowl, knocking that over, only to fly right back out onto the dresser, then onto my bed, then into the window, etc. After the full five seconds of impending-death-chaos, I realized the sound was coming from the fan. The ceiling fan. Something was stuck in it. That something was a Christmas tree balloon. Oh ver re action. I was not alone though, my aunt also thought the house was falling apart and I was dead. Because of a jet engine. Maybe we should stop watching Donnie Darko.

- Speaking of my subconscious, I've been having a lot of dreams lately. The last one I can remember is one in which I spend a lot of my time shopping at the DollarTree. I get a couple of everyday groceries until I come to the toothpaste section, where I get angry because I can't find cinnamon flavored toothpaste. I woke up shortly thereafter. I guess in this scenario my subconscious is trying to tell me that I'm poor, so I need to start shopping at the DollarTree, and that I am really honestly getting sick of the nasty peppermint flavored toothpaste that's currently sitting in my bathroom. Way to go brain!

- There is a dog that lives across the road from where I work. He always comes over to beg for food visit, but he never gets close to anyone, or allows anyone to touch him. Ever. For two years. The other day, he let me pet him, for a long time, without any coaxing on my part, in front of everyone. I feel like I have won some type of dog vs. Domino's employee battle, and I'm the most important soldier in the army. I also feel that no one else gives a shit.

- I opened my drop box (it's a Domino's term, you wouldn't know) today and found a little "come to Jesus" booklet. Actually it specifically said:

"You are loved! *MIDGET NOTE!* On the front which got me excited because I thought I had a secret admirer, but upon opening it...* "For God so loved you that he gave his only begotten son (Jesus Christ), that if you would believe (trust, rely, give up to, ask him to come in and take over) in Jesus, you would not perish (suffer for your own sin) but you will have everlasting life. He is the way, the truth, and the life, so when you ask Jesus into your heart, you have everlasting life and heaven becomes your new home!"

Then it tells you what to say to accept Jesus into your heart, tells you to find a church to go to, and blah blah blah. Firstly, I was pissed that it was not a secret admirer, secondly, I know this must be some big "Haha! Let's put the bible thumping pamphlet in the atheist's drop box!" joke, since all of my co-workers know about my religious views. Assholes.

- I was going through my old Twitter posts tonight and in one of them, I accidentally wrote "hear" instead of "here". Way to fail, self.

- Shazam reminded me that there is such a thing as the Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Soundtrack, and ZOMG, it's downloading to my computer (ahem, legally) right this very second!

So, yeah, I'm off to go pretend I'm some 80's thug, killing and stealing in the sunny streets of Miami. Kthanksbye!

<33

Hooray for no internet and stealing library wifi!

So needless to say, this will be short.

I will have you know that this just happened:



Yeah that's what my phone looks like. Android > iPhone. I can change themes whenever I want as well. Thank not-god for apps.

I'll also have you know that this happened:



In case you can't read that (because you're dumb and forgot how to clink images) it says:
"Aye Wass Good, I'd Preciate If U'd Stop By My Page, N' SHow Some Love N' I'd Get Bacc At Ya, Make Sure U Listen 2 THa Music Ya Kno! ~Kidd Songz~"

I don't even really know how to respond, but you better believe I hit the deny button.

- My co-worker swears that the employees at our Books-A-Million "quack" over the intercom at customers to "persuade" them to stop reading and actually buy shit. Whether he's right or they're just fucking with people (my opinion), I think that's amazing.

- Renting a beach house for a New Years Eve party is a big possibility, and if so, it's going dooooowwwwwnnnnn.

- I used to like a certain name so much I had decided to name my future son by that name. Now that two (count em, TWO) guys with said name have become obsessed with me, I kind of hate the name. This is sad.

- Remember that baby story I was going on and on about a while back? Well when I was a baby my Mom took me to a gay pride festival in DC (and you know those gay boys loved little Caitlin!) and someone suggested I take a picture with Barney. Why Barney was there I don't know. Anyways, I sat down with Barney, started to immediately look perturbed, and then I slapped Barney in the face. Hard. I hated Barney throughout the rest of my childhood.

- Yeah that was it. I don't know why I made such a big deal out of it. *Shrug*

- Nothing funny left to say, so peace!

<33

Time for some other highlights.

I never really had time to write more about the DC trip until now. I'm going to make this short.

It was awesome, Alabama sucks.

That's all I got. No, really, Fotoweek was amazing. The Metro didn't take too long to get me anywhere while I rode it, so no complaints there. The energy prior to the Capitols game in Chinatown was awesome and for the first time in my life I wanted to go to a hockey game. I actually think once I move up to DC I may just get into sports. I can't believe I just said that, but yeah. I think it's gonna happen.



Tono Sushi: Good as always. They have some amazing sushi. They have expanded their menu since the last time I ate there and my Mom got Thai (as always) and that was good too. When I live in DC I will definitely be getting food delivered from them if I live close enough. The spicy tuna rolls are making me hungry just thinking about them.

As mentioned already, Fotoweek along with the permanent museums all over DC definitely gave me my fix in art. I think browsing art is one of the most important activities one can partake in, unless of course you just don't appreciate art, and if you're one of those people you're a douchebag and I don't want to ever talk to you again. Seriously. Art is one of the few things I think the human race got right.





Those are spaces in which one can go through a huge range of emotion.

Georgetown, thanks again for reminding me that I am broke as shit. If I ever win the lottery I will definitely spend a huge amount of it on clothing in that neighborhood.

All in all, the trip was a success, and I had a great time with mi madre.



The trip back was the suck. We got caught in the remnants of "hurricane" Ida and it took a whopping 19 hours to get home (usually takes 14-15). I kept having to pull over because of the storm, the truckers decided it was a perfect time to drive like complete jackasses, the rain turned into tiny little ice crystals, and it was fucking freeeeeezing. Mostly due to the high winds (that blew my tiny Celica all over the interstate).

There was one thing we experienced on the way home that made the long drive worth it. Maybe you had to have been there, but it was the funniest thing I've seen in a while, and somehow, I got a picture of it with the cellular.



We actually had to hop over it multiple times, and well of course we didn't tell him it was there! I don't think it would have been so funny, if not for the immense length of the toilet paper. Poor guy. Hahahahaha.

That's it for now. I'm off to wallow in my depression stemming from being back in Alabama. I will also be stuck here for longer than previously planned, due to the fact that my army friend (a best friend) is coming back for New Years, and I don't feel right about not taking the opportunity to see him. So I will wait. All I can say is, 2010, don't let me down.

<33

So far, DC hasn't failed, as always.

Wednesday night will suck. It will suck hard. HARD. I do not want to go back to Alabama. Alabama with all of it's nothingness. Ew. Ew, ew, ew.

Real quick like, before we go into more of me loving DC, watch this and be merry. Thanks to Cat of Young Old Crone for bringing this to my attention via Twitter.



So far we really haven't done all that much in the city. The majority of our time has been comprised of sitting around talking, smelling the fall smells (something Alabama lacks also), and people watching. It's been nice to just be, for once. We have however briefly visited the mall, just because it's good to glimpse that when you haven't seen it in months (or years in my mother's case). We've also done some healthy walking in Chinatown, Dupont Circle, Adams Morgan, Woodley Park, and Takoma (hotel location). We've eaten some excellent food as well. If you follow me on Twitter (which, by "god", you better be doing by now) you will know all about these great eats, but alas, recap time:

7-Eleven: I'm sorry, but I won't ever stop eating their hotdogs. It may not be anything more than cheap gas station food, but it's damn good cheap gas station food, and it's something I hate not having access to in Alabama, because I would eat the fuck out of it all the time, as I do here.
Asian Spice: We tried the Thai food here (Basil chicken) and it was delicious. Not only that, but we also sat outside, watched some fine ass people walk by, and enjoyed the perfect weather. The restaurant was incredibly nice on the inside too. I'll be visiting this place again for sure.
The Diner: 24 hour diner in Adams Morgan. I have decided that when I move here, this will be one of the first places I apply for a job at. The staff was awesome, and omfg, the food. Ridiculously good. Cheap too. The toast with the spinach and artichoke dip was what we started with (wonderful). Mom got a sandwich, but I got the grilled stuffed Portobellos, and it was soooooo good. I'm in love with this place.

Tono Sushi will be on the menu tomorrow. We tried tonight but got there right before they closed (we often lose track of time). I am glad though that we missed Tono because then we would not have eaten at the Diner.

Tomorrow we have a long day. Realizing that we have wasted two days doing nothing but walking and eating has made us decide to get up super early and get shit done tomorrow. One thing includes enjoying some of the activities of Fotoweek 2009! We are lucky to have randomly visited the city at this time, there is stuff going on for Fotoweek everywhere. I am taking pictures as well, but they are not so amazing thanks to my crappy half broken camera and I am tired and need to sleep soon so those will come later.

Speaking of sleep, I'm off to try and get some of that. Long day tomorrow, looking forward to some of this:



Also, I am too lazy to look up what this is, but we discovered it in the middle of a very residential neighborhood in front of a normal looking house with no other signs:



I'm assuming a family business and something to do with martial arts or calligraphy, but I'm lazy and want to present a challenge, so the first person to explain in depth wins a cookie! Okay, not really, but you will win an e-cookie (it's so much better, trust me).

Peace out.

<33

Holy hell...

Hah, two things I do not believe in whatsoever!

First off, to make up for not writing, I give you this:



I found it pretty entertaining, to say the least.

Secondly, wow, someone forgot how much shit you have to do when moving! My Mom is moving to DC this weekend (I am taking her up there) and this week has been insanely chaotic, what with helping her and working and recovering from Halloween.

Yes kids, Halloween was a bit ridiculous. If you go back in my Twitter history some ways, you will see some things I don't even remember writing. Apparently at one point I did not even know where I was. The night was crazy, fun, and actually very safe in case you're worried (I know you aren't, assholes).

Anyways, so this week has been crazy, once I arrive in DC this weekend (Sunday to be specific) I may have time to write about something. It will probably be something regarding how much the Metro sucks. I hope the video made up for my absence.

See you guys in the city!

<33

PS. I may be moving up there as well sooner than I thought. We shall see!

Hey um, cold weather...

I really enjoy hanging out with you cold weather, but you're leaving again! Why so soon? You're supposed to stick around until March at least! You definitely seemed to be loving Nashville, what do you have against us on the coast of Alabama? Teasing us by hanging out for a few days is a pretty bitch move. Just sayin'. Hot weather, fuck you. I'm breaking up with you, and I don't want to see you again until June. Actually I may not want to ever see you again, you dick.

In case you're retarded, I'm quite unhappy about this psycho weather fluctuation. It's fall, it's supposed to be chilly, not hot, you dumb fucking atmosphere.

Anyways...

- I delivered some pasta to some stupid teenager the other day (yeah I know I'm still 19, shut up). After I gave her the food the following conversation took place:

Twit: "Soo ummm, they don't, like, send those free cake thingies with pasta anymoreeeee?"
Me: "No, that was just an introductory promotion for the Lava Cakes."
Twit: "Introductory... What?"
Me: "It was just a thing they did at first to promote the Lava Cakes, to get people to try them."
Twit: "So like, they're never going to be free again?"
Me: "....No...."
Twit: "BUMMERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! That's so laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame! Whatevaaa."
Me: "Hah, yeah... Have a nice day."
Twit: *Half smile/ nod/ I'm a total cunt bitch who needs to go back to elementary school look.*

I wanted to go to my car, grab my fine-tipped Sharpie, and run back inside to attempt to stab her to death in the eye with it. I hope that when she gets a little bit older than 15 she learns to talk. If I one day find out she's actually older than me, I will lose all hope for the human race.

- If one more grocery store cashier tries to tell me what to do with my debit card, I will punch them in the face, and then punch them in the face again. I run my debit card as credit. If you're one of the many people who for some really fucked up reason didn't know you can run debit as credit, yes, you can. I'll explain, when you use plastic you are transferring electronic funds to whatever company you're purchasing merchandise from. They are taking money from somewhere. The only difference is this: Debit cards have money you put on them. Credit cards have money someone else put on them that you are borrowing and will eventually pay back. The card can be run as either thing. I run it as credit because I don't like to enter my PIN number in public (it's incredibly easy to remember four numbers) and banks usually have some incentive for you to run your card as credit. My bank used to give me points for "all non-PIN purchases" which means, run your card as credit for everything. Anyways, these fucking cashiers lately have been arguing with me. I'll try to run it as credit and it won't work (because the strip is diminishing fucked) and then they insist on trying themselves and they're all, "Oh well it's a DEBIT card, silly!". Then when it still doesn't work and I ask for a plastic bag to put over the strip so it'll work they ignore me and continue to waste ten minutes of my life trying to swipe my card 687 times. When they finally give into me asking for a bag, I take about 7 seconds to wrap it in the plastic, swipe it, and successfully run it through as credit. If these cashiers would just listen to me upfront then the line wouldn't be held up to Michigan and back, and I wouldn't be royally pissed off.

It's like people who try to tell me my dog is not a German Shepherd, but a Collie mix. She's a long haired bi-color German Shepherd. The people who come off like they know everything about dogs, literally know nothing about German Shepherds, and I find it ridiculous that they spend time arguing with me about it even though I have her papers, drove to PA to get her from a very good breeder, and have an extensive purebred pedigree on her. The people who know dogs? They say, "Oh that's a pretty German Shepherd!" They know immediately. Did you know German Shepherds can come in white, silver, all black, sable, and even "blue"? Well you do now.

Moral to these stories. If you're not 100% sure you know everything about anything, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

- Now that I've complained about everything ever, I leave you with this. Courtesy of the fine people of Nashville for introducing me to this. Also, don't hate me after watching. ;)



<33

Oh Nashville, you are quite entertaining.

I'm writing to you from Nashville, TN. Second day of my stay here, I will be sadly returning home tomorrow. We had a crazy party last night and I danced to a ridiculous amount of techno music, and drank a ridiculous amount of Pabst Blue Ribbon. I do believe I was bitten multiple times and I was also coaxed into kissing a girl apparently. I was drawn on and my knuckles say "SOFTBALL". It was a night full of random awesome-ness. Amazing to say the least.

While here I've been introduced to this video. Apparently Dan Deacon is sitting in a closet tripping on acid and saying all this stuff, but further research says he wasn't. Regardless, it is fucking hilarious.



The weather up here is amazing (in my opinion). It's been around 45-50 F the entire time. I was able to wear my favorite plaid button up! According to friends back home the weather has gotten far more tolerable in the deep south, but knowing my luck it will go right back to being hot when I return tomorrow. Hopefully not.

On another note, one can truly realize how much they hate Alabama when made to drive through it's entirety.

We are currently playing Star Wars monopoly and there is Asian porn (from the fucking 80s VHS style) playing in the background on a huge television. Cause I mean what else should one play in the background! The acting and music choice is so incredibly horrible it is actually very funny. You know you wish you were here too! Right!?

Anyways, I'm going to stop being unsocial, and I do hope everyone else is having such a great weekend as I am!

<33

You need to see this.

Bayfest is officially over, I am soaked from the rain, tired from Akon crowd surfing on top of me (yes, seriously!!), and not in the mood to blog.

I would have not posted anything, but I feel that you all need to see this.



You're quite welcome.

(Seriously, guys, I touched Akon and heard T-Pain sing "I'm On A Boat", details tomorrow!)

<33